Updated: Sep 12, 2020
UPDATE: I recorded an episode with Not So Molly Mormon Podcast on this topic. You can listen to it free HERE (ep. 90)
What does the word “worthy” mean to you? What is the first thing that pops into your head when you ask yourself if you are worthy of something? When I think about it personally, I come to the conclusion that I have had a multitude of answers throughout my life dependent on my age.
12 years old: I am worthy, if I go to church, wear modest clothing, get married in the temple someday, don’t commit sin with boys, pray and read my scriptures every night.
16 years old: I am worthy if I can stay a virgin until I’m married and don’t let any guy touch me in those sinful areas. I am worthy if I don’t let myself get pregnant. Please, just please let me make it out of high school without messing up.
19 years old: I am worthy if I keep going to church on my own, have a relationship with God, find a man who can marry me in the temple and be the best wife I can be to my future husband.
21 years old: I am worthy if I can look as beautiful as possible to attract that husband I still haven’t found yet and make men notice me. I am worthy if I can just get one good acting job that proves I have what it takes to make it in Hollywood.
24 years old: The man I’ve loved for 2 years doesn’t want me anymore. I must not be worthy of love. I will sleep around because I've been taught that that's what unworthy women do. Even if there is a God, he has no intention of helping a sinner like me, so why try to be worthy at all?
27 years old: My father has just admitted to sexually abusing me as an infant. It’s now clear to me that I was not worthy of love from the beginning. He must’ve seen something in me that wasn’t worth protecting. Something that wasn’t worth cherishing. It taught me that worth must be earned. Worth must be worked hard for. I may not be worthy of love, but I am worthy of a thriving career. I’ll focus on that.
29 years old: I’ve learned and grown so much. I have come to realize that worth is not a tangible thing that can be given or even earned. Worth is inherent and unchanging. I am worthy if I am a living, breathing human being on this planet. Even my father is worthy of love.
DON'T BE DECEIVED ANY LONGER
The thing I want to point out here, is that often times we tend to let life and its hardships dictate who we are as a soul. We allow people, religions, social conditioning, circumstances and trauma to tell us we aren’t worthy of love or happiness for so many different reasons which sets an impossible bar to reach.
The worst disservice we could ever do is trick ourselves into believing we aren’t inherently worthy of a great life. We might be strong when it comes to other people talking down to us. We might even stand up, fight back and defend our honor. Yet notice how quick we are to allow negative self talk in our heads all…day…long. Why? Because our whole lives we have been programmed to believe that we have to work to be loved, that we have to follow certain rules and check certain boxes to amount to any sort of greatness and to be cherished.
That is simply not true.
Guess what? The moment we can realize we are beautiful, amazing, gifted souls the minute we are born and nothing can change that, is the moment that the whole world will start believing it too. We are not a simple math equation to be solved.
A (us) + B (following rules, pleasing other people, playing the part, gaining enough wealth etc) = C (worthiness). Once I realized this wasn’t how it worked, everything changed! A + B does NOT equal C! A+B= pain, disappointment, false hopes, desperation and a lack of trust in yourself. Let me tell you something that might blow your mind.
A is greater than, or equal to C.
SO WHAT'S THE SECRET?
Everyone wants to know the secret to being happy. You’ll find it in any article online: “Ten things that will make you happy now!” The problem with those headlines is that they perpetuate the same type of mental equation which programs us into thinking, ‘I can only be happy if I do (fill in the blank)….”
American culture (among others) is so bombarded with consumerism and marketing that we buy into this idea of problem/solution. As an actor, I’ve learned about this core principle in every commercial acting class I’ve ever taken. You must make the consumer believe they have a problem with their current life, in order for them to purchase your solution, Make them want to purchase your happiness.
What people don’t realize is that happiness doesn’t require physical action at all. Happiness comes from an inner state of being. Happiness comes from knowing you are first and foremost “worthy” of it. Therefore, the first step to happiness is to separate yourself from the duality (or problem/solution) way of thinking and realize that you are already special and amazing and worthy of love, happiness and abundance just because you are you!
Worth is just part of the package. It’s built into you just as much as your nose is built into your face and not a single person can take that away from you. Hold yourself to a higher standard, give yourself a little more respect, honor yourself a little more and everyone else will follow suit. You don’t have to chase love and acceptance from others because once you love and accept yourself, the ones who see you for you will automatically be drawn into your life and the ones who don't will fall away.
My friends, if you take nothing else from these fiery heartfelt words of mine, take this:
YOU ARE WORTHY.